Omen 108: Finders Keepers
Transcript & Credits
Narrator: Omen is intended for an adult audience. The story explores mature themes and contains instances of dramatized violence. Full transcripts of each episode can be viewed at omen cast dot com.
SCENE 1
[[SFX: street ambience, footsteps on cobble, Brackett humming]]
[[SFX: keys jangling, lock unlatches, door opening/closing]]
[[SFX: footsteps on floorboards, muffled rummaging, footsteps stop]]
[[SFX: sword slowly unsheathes, quiet footsteps, rummaging intensifies]]
[[SFX: papers rustling, items knocking over]]
Lewin: [[under breath, frantic]] Come now… it must be here somewhere!
Brackett: [[confrontational]] Who's in there? Show yourself, you thieving little… [[trails off]] [[surprised]] Perseus!?
Lewin: [[breathless, defeated]] Good evening, Venture-Captain.
Brackett: [[confounded]] What in Hell are you doing in my library? At this time of-- [[realization]] Wait--Drakeheel's people are looking for you!
Lewin: [[tired]] They are indeed. For nearly two weeks now. [[bitter] And yet the Aerie can't seem to spare a simple search party for three missing investigators--my nephew among them. Is that justice, Brackett?
[[SFX: sword sheathing]]
Brackett: [[wary]] Asks the man who's broken into my home?
Lewin: [[tired sigh]] Well? Are you going to turn me in?
Brackett: [[taken aback]] I… I don't know. After your little heist at the Real Estate Offices, they say you just… disappeared from your cell!
Lewin: Yes, well… none of that matters right now. I don't suppose you have any spare scrolls of Sending? I must get word to an associate of mine as soon as possible.
[[SFX: rummaging, paper rustling]]
Brackett: [[suspicious]] And this somehow gives you the right to rob me?
Lewin: [[sheepish]] Forgive me for helping myself. The antiquities shop is somewhat… inaccessible at the moment, what with the warrant out for my arrest and all.
Brackett: [[suspicious]] You shouldn't be here, Perseus. If I'm caught harboring a wanted fugitive, it could--
Lewin: [[interrupting, desperate]] Please, Brackett. People are going to die if I don't get word to Escadar!
Brackett: [[puzzled]] Escadar? What is this all about?
Lewin: [[impatient]] I don't have time to explain things properly, I'm afraid. [[distracted]] I just need… didn't you have a copy of Theodric's manifesto somewhere? Aha--here it is!
Brackett: [[upset]] You're asking me to become an accessory to trespassing and larceny? To blatantly obstruct due process?
[[SFX: flipping pages]]
Lewin: [[grim]] I'm afraid my crimes run much deeper than that, my friend.
[[SFX: book slams]]
Brackett: [[frustrated]] This isn't the good old days, Perseus. We're too damn old for this sort of ratcatcher nonsense!
Lewin: [[impatient]] Brackett, please! You don't understand--
Brackett: [[interrupting]] You and I fought to bring order to Andoran. You sit on the People's Council to uphold Common Rule. What is so damned important that you're willing to throw all of it to the winds?
Lewin: I'm not asking for your help, Brackett. Only for the chance to amend a terrible mistake.
Brackett: [[pressing]] What mistake?
Lewin: [[musing to self]] The greatest mistake of my life…
Brackett: [[annoyed]] Gods help me, Perseus--you'd better start talking sense or I will drag you back to the Aerie!
Lewin: [[fearful]] There's no time! And now that the beacon has closed… [[realization]] Aroden preserve us. What have I done?
Brackett: [[surprised]] You mean that anomaly off the coast of Kortos? [[pressing]] Did you have something to do with that strange purple light?
Lewin: [[trembling]] Theodric warned us we'd have to face our demons one day. I thought… after so long… I'd have been more prepared.
Brackett: [[darkly]] What did you do, Perseus?
Lewin: [[terrified]] After forty long years… my luck has finally run out. [[dramatic]] She's coming for me, Brackett.
[[SFX: OMEN MAIN THEME]]
SCENE 2
[[SFX: creaking planks, footsteps, door opens/shuts]]
Battoh: [[stoic]] Sit. There is much to discuss.
Quent: [[confrontational]] That's the understatement of the century. How in Hell did you catch up with us so quickly?
Toby: [[pressing]] And where's the Wheel's Woe? Or Stoddard, for that matter?
Gwen: [[demanding]] And what have you done with my crew?
Battoh: Your crew, Lady Karthis?
Gwen: [[threatening]] So help me, if you've chained them up again--
Battoh: [[patient]] They are all below deck, unfettered and uninjured… for the most part.
Gwen: If you've done them harm in any way--
Battoh: You are in no condition to threaten this one, Lady Karthis. But you misunderstand. The few injuries your people suffered were at the hands of those loyal to Stoddard.
Quent: [[confused]] Wait, don't you work for Stoddard?
Battoh: Please, sit. We must parlay, and quickly.
Toby: [[realization]] Yeah… I think we're going to want to hear him out.
[[SFX: chairs sliding, sitting down]]
Quent: [[grumbling]] It's not like we ever had a choice.
Gwen: [[wary]] I suppose your brother is standing guard outside for a reason?
Battoh: Batab only keeps the others from eavesdropping. May this one begin?
Gwen: Very well. Say your piece, then.
Battoh: First--many apologies for what must seem an odd welcome. You understand, it has been several days since we arrived. The crew had cast lots concerning whether or not you would return--
Toby: [[interrupting]] Whoa, whoa! Back up a second there, chief. What do you mean "several days"? We were only gone a few hours.
Battoh: As this one has said, the Wheel's Woe came upon the Witch's Teat three days and four nights past. We have been anchored here since then, awaiting Stoddard's return.
Gwen: [[to self, disappointed]] Oh, no…
Quent: Gwen? What's wrong?
Gwen: [[guilty]] The time distortion in the Somal Caves--Torn had it backwards! Time didn't slow at the nexus, it sped up. And my mistake allowed Stoddard to catch us!
Quent: [[realization]] Oh. [[reassuring]] I mean, it wasn't your fault.
Toby: Yeah. More likely Torn just lied to us. Typical demon crap.
Gwen: [[worried]] But what about Lola? Where is she, Battoh?
Battoh: At the moment, she draws the Wheel's Woe away to the north. Making for Diobel, from the sound of it. Wisp told of how Lola commandeered the skiff mere hours after you ventured into the beacon… with a strange woman as her captive.
Toby: [[wary]] Yeah, that can't be good.
Battoh: No friend of yours?
Gwen: [[sigh]] Not really, no. We don't even know her name, let alone the sort of threat she might pose.
Quent: [[grim]] I guess it all depends on whether they're working together or not. For all we know… Lola might be dead already.
Gwen: [[worried]] Quentin, don't say that! We don't even know what happened!
Toby: But we do have an educated guess. And I think it's pretty obvious Lola's got herself a new demon girlfriend.
Gwen: [[annoyed]] Oh do shut your hatch, Toby. Or have you already forgotten what it's like to be charmed? [[thinking]] Besides, if she is headed north, there are only so many places that small of a skiff could sail.
Battoh: Lady Karthis is correct. But time is against us. We must act swiftly.
Quent: [[confrontational]] And what makes you think "we" are doing anything with you?
Battoh: Allow this one to explain. When Stoddard retook the Witch's Teat--
Gwen: [[interrupting]] Actually, it's called the Friend Ship now. And please, you can just call me Gwen.
Battoh: I… see. When Stoddard heard of Lola's escape, he divided his crew to give chase. He left this one in command of the… Friend Ship… to guard the beacon against treasure hunters until his return. However, it seems--whatever her motives--Lola has put us all in an… interesting position.
Toby: [[smirking]] Let me guess--you want to stab Stoddard in the back, too?
Battoh: This one spoke earlier of Lady Kar-- [[catching self]] Lady Gwen's crew… and the injuries they sustained from Stoddard's men?
Gwen: [[wary]] Yes, go on.
Battoh: Not long after the Wheel's Woe departed to hunt for Lola, this one put both crews to a vote. The few who were foolish enough to stand by Stoddard's command were quickly overrun. Blows were exchanged during the… "debate". But rest assured-- the dissenters' blood now seasons the great briny deep.
Gwen: [[taken aback]] Oh… I see.
Quent: [[unsure]] So… you're saying your people are willing to join us?
Battoh: This one is saying they already have.
Toby: [[cheerful]] Well that certainly is convenient! I guess all the cool kids are mutinying these days, huh?
Gwen: But… wouldn't that put you in charge of things, Battoh?
Battoh: This one served as First Mate aboard the Witch's Teat. But it seems the… Friend Ship… has already chosen her Captain.
Quent: Wow, that's… suspiciously generous of you.
Battoh: It is not this one's place to upset what was rightly decided. And if our two parties are to merge--perhaps even to trust one another--it must be done under new management, not vestiges of the old.
Toby: Sounds good to me! What's our next step?
Quent: Really, Toby? You're just ready to trust this guy?
Battoh: This one only requires the trust of Lady Gwen to proceed.
Gwen: Me? I don't understand.
Battoh: This one has spoken to each of Stoddard's former prisoners--some more than others, these past few days. Most of them trusted you enough to come to this place, Lady Gwen. A few held to the hope that you would return from the beacon to rescue them. And now that you have indeed returned, it is clear there will be no accord between our companies without your blessing.
Gwen: Oh, I see. Well… let us say I do wish to trust you, Battoh. Would your crew even be comfortable with me as their Captain?
Battoh: No… not at first. But they will not question your orders when spoken through this one. In time, should you rise to your… unorthodox reputation, they will come to respect you as well.
Quent: [[suspicious]] Okay, hold on. This is great and all, but why are you suddenly so eager to break away from Stoddard?
Battoh: Mutiny is not some fickle thing that strikes as lightning. Much as a cluster of barnacles may take years to slow a ship and choke her rudder, so too has Stoddard's arrogance and cruelty weighed down the hearts of his crew.
Toby: [[chuckling]] Okay, then. Good explanation.
Gwen: [[stern]] And what makes you think I even want to lead a motley band of pirates?
Battoh: [[patient sigh]] Most of us are but simple sailors, Lady Gwen. We were either forced into Stoddard's service or sold to him as servants. Piracy is a tainted trade… not something one chooses freely.
Gwen: Stoddard chose it.
Battoh: Aye. And he deserves the same fate as those that stand by him. Those that remain, including this one… would gladly exchange our blood wages for clearer consciences.
Gwen: And does the crew aboard the Wheel's Woe feel the same way?
Battoh: We shall find out soon enough.
Quent: [[weary sigh]] Oh, great. So we're supposed to lie in wait here for gods know how long?
Battoh: No. We must go to them.
Quent: But… aren't you supposed to be guarding the beacon?
Toby: What beacon? The Somal Caves are buried, along with that purple light.
Quent: [[sheepish]] Oh. Right.
Battoh: Stoddard will not be able to find us without the light to guide him. He will be expecting a rendezvous. Hopefully, he will halt his search long enough to wait for us.
Toby: [[excited]] And when we show up, we can broadside them at point-blank range! They won't even know what hit them!
Battoh: [[patient]] No, we cannot. All siege munitions larger than grapeshot are stowed aboard the Wheel's Woe.
Quent: [[frustrated]] Seriously? Why would Stoddard do that?
Battoh: The… Friend Ship… was built to cripple and tow trade vessels, not sink them. She is all the faster for it, and we never gave chase to targets large enough to pose any threat to her hull.
Toby: Okay so… we just wait until dark and slit everyone's throats, then?
Gwen: [[stern]] Absolutely not! There might be more of Stoddard's crew who wish to mutiny with us. We have to give them that chance!
Quent: [[bitter]] Did any of them give us a chance?
Gwen: No. But Battoh and his friends have. It's only polite to return the favor.
Battoh: [[puzzled]] You view the world through a strange lens, Lady Gwen.
Toby: [[sardonic]] You are not wrong.
Quent: So what are we supposed to do when we find the Wheel's Woe? Ask nicely if they'll all turn against the most infamous pirate on the Inner Sea?
Battoh: There will be little choice once they see Stoddard's corpse.
Toby: I like the way you think! So you're just going to walk up and run him through in front of everyone, huh?
Battoh: [[patient]] No. Lady Gwen will kill him.
Gwen: [[shocked]] What!? No! I could never--
Battoh: [[interrupting]] You must. If a First Mate kills his Captain, he becomes naught but a loathsome traitor in the eyes of the crew.
Gwen: [[pleading]] But they know you! Surely they would follow you!
Battoh: [[patient]] Perhaps. But this is not the way of things.
Gwen: [[upset]] Then I say to Hell with the way of things! I am not going to sink to that fiend's level--not for you, not for anybody!
Battoh: What of those who elected you their Captain? What will be their fate if Stoddard is allowed to live?
Gwen: [[stubborn]] No. I'm not a killer.
Toby: [[under breath]] I bet Barlow would beg to differ… if he could.
Quent: Toby, shut your hatch! [[consoling]] He didn't mean it, Gwen. That was different--it was self-defense. We had to--
Gwen: [[interrupting, frustrated]] Just stop. All of you. [[sigh]] Battoh--please set a course for Diobel. We'll check there first for Lola.
Battoh: And what of Stoddard?
Gwen: [[irritated]] I don't know. And right now, I don't care.
[[SFX: getting up from chair, footsteps]]
Quent: [[concerned]] Where are you going?
Gwen: [[weary]] Below deck. I need to think.
[[SFX: door opens/closes]]
Quent: [[annoyed]] What in Hell is wrong with you?
Toby: [[defensive]] What? She cracked open a pirate's head like a pumpkin last week and now she's getting cold feet?
Quent: I seem to remember you looking a bit green around the gills after helping put down said pirates.
Toby: Yeah, well, some of us haven't had years of training on the intricacies of sticking swords into people.
Quent: [[tired]] Just throw Gwen some slack, alright? [[sigh]] If her mind is made up, I guess I can take out Stoddard.
Battoh: No. Lady Gwen must be the one to kill him.
Toby: [[sardonic]] Right. Because of reasons.
Battoh: [[patient]] It is the way of things on the Inner Sea. To legitimize her claim, both ship's crews must witness Stoddard's fall at her hands.
Quent: [[skeptical]] What--and then they'll all just fall in line?
Battoh: If all is done correctly… yes. The men will understand the choice they've been given. To do otherwise invites malcontent.
Toby: And if Gwen continues to be difficult?
Battoh: [[forlorn sigh]] Then this one shall be forced to return to Stoddard's side, our only chance at mutiny gone before it's begun. [[ominous]] This also means you must be returned to your stocks as prisoners--a task this one had hoped never to perform again. But it shall be done, by one method or another, if Lady Gwen does not play the part of Captain.
Quent: [[threatening]] If you think any of us are going back to being someone's property without a fight, you're dead wrong.
Battoh: [[patient]] Then it is of the utmost importance that you two convince her to rise to the occasion. This one does not desire more needless bloodshed.
[[SFX: getting up from chair]]
Battoh: Batab will be expecting Lady Gwen for sparring practice in the morning. He is an accomplished swordsman.
Toby: [[defiant]] Pff. Gwen can shoot fireballs. She doesn't need your help.
Battoh: This one is not offering a choice in the matter. More than just your fates rest on Stoddard's demise… and he is no base prey.
Quent: You want insurance? Fine. But if you're counting on this showdown happening, then you'd better have a damn good plan to ensure the Wheel's Woe doesn't just blast us to splinters.
Toby: Actually… I may have an idea or two about that.
[[SFX: TRANSITION MUSIC]]
SCENE 3
[[SFX: ocean ambience, creaking planks]]
Stoddard: And you're absolutely certain she said the words "Wet-House"?
Pirate 1: Aye, Captain. Dockmaster says she left that very night, following the coast to the north.
Stoddard: [[thoughtful]] Hmm. Well that certainly gives us ample time to make pace. But what in Hell is she hoping to find at the Cresting Wave?
Pirate 1: Dunno, Captain. Ain't been no word of any odd goings-on up there. Least not in Diobel.
Stoddard: Very well. We make for Escadar in the morning. Leave word with the dockmaster for Battoh.
[[SFX: door opens]]
Pirate 2: Captain! The Teat's just made harbor, sir!
Stoddard: [[pleased chuckle]] Speak of Asmodeus! Scratch that last command, Bosun. Go and fetch the gangplank. I need a word with the First Mate.
Pirate 2: Aye, Captain!
[[SFX: footsteps, ocean ambience intensifies]]
Battoh: [[calling from afar]] Hoy there, Captain!
Stoddard: [[calling, cheerful]] It seems your timing is impeccable as usual, my friend! We make for the Isle of Erran on the morrow!
Battoh: [[calling]] No sign of the Quartermaster, then?
Stoddard: [[calling]] Former Quartermaster, you mean? She follows the coast to Escadar. Apparently seeking asylum at the House of the Cresting Wave.
Battoh: [[calling]] Spare a moment for a word in private, Captain?
Stoddard: [[calling]] Indeed! I'm anxious to hear about our mysterious disappearing beacon! Were you and Batab able to salvage anything before the light extinguished?
Battoh: [[calling]] A tale best told in your quarters, Captain.
Stoddard: [[calling, wary]] As you say. [[to crew, petulant]] Hurry up with that gangway, you dogs!
[[SFX: board clattering, footsteps]]
Battoh: After you, Captain.
Stoddard: [[annoyed]] Alright, out with it. What's so bloody secretive?
[[SFX: chairs sliding, sitting down, door closing]]
Battoh: [[under breath]] Mutiny, Captain. Beyond Lola's betrayal.
Stoddard: [[dismissive]] Yes, yes. We spoke of this before you took command of the Teat. Well? How many did you have to kill?
Battoh: [[grim]] Four seasoned veterans. Griggs and Billings, as well as--
Stoddard: [[interrupting, petulant]] And? Did that adequately straighten out the rest?
Battoh: More than adequately, Captain.
Stoddard: Fine, then. We'll hire replacements in Escadar.
Battoh: [[concerned]] These were no mere greenhorns, Captain. Griggs had been with us since the Sothis job. And Billings--
Stoddard: [[interrupting]] Remind me to piss over whatever side you dumped their corpses in memoriam. Now--what of the beacon? What did you see?
Battoh: Lady Karthis and the other missing prisoners have returned.
Stoddard: [[surprised]] What? No! You're bloody joking!
Battoh: It is a bizarre tale, Captain. They used potions of waterbreathing--brewed by the boy, it seems. Said they found some sort of undersea cavern. Perhaps a way down into the Darklands.
Stoddard: [[excited]] And the beacon?
Battoh: Disappeared as soon as they resurfaced, three days after you departed. Apparently there was a cave-in.
Stoddard: Damn. I don't suppose they brought anything back with them?
Battoh: That is what concerns this one, Captain. That woman-- the one who was said to have boarded the skiff with Lola… she is not listed in the manifest.
Stoddard: [[suspicious]] Some accomplice of Lola's from Absalom?
Battoh: If the prisoners are to be believed, she was found in the caverns.
Stoddard: [[dismissive scoff]] Rubbish!
Battoh: They say they found a man as well, though it seems he perished in the collapse. The Karthis woman claims they were demons.
Stoddard: [[doubtful]] And I suppose you believed the girl?
Battoh: This one suspects they may have been drow scouts from Nar-Voth. Though the thought of dark elves roaming the seas is just as worrying.
Stoddard: [[smug]] Worrying? What is there to worry about? We have our ransom hostage back and this mystery woman may be able to lead us to other treasures, regardless of what she is!
Battoh: But what does the Wet-House have to do with all this?
Stoddard: [[shrugs]] Who cares? She might be Low Azlanti, for all we know. In either case, she may be able to bring us back to those caverns.
Battoh: To what end, Captain? Karthis and her people didn't seem to find anything of value down there.
[[SFX: getting up from chair]]
Stoddard: [[impatient]] Gods help me, Battoh--could you be any less innovative? Tell the rest of the crew we make for Escadar come first light.
Battoh: Aye, Captain.
Stoddard: [[excited]] Now--I think it's time I paid a little visit to our prodigal bargaining chip. Fetch me a lantern, won't you?
Battoh: [[ominous]] Lady Gwen is not being held in the brig, Captain.
Stoddard: [[disinterested]] Hmm? What's that?
Battoh: This one last saw her on the main deck.
[[beat]]
Stoddard: [[annoyed]] What are you going on about? Why in Hell would she be left on the bloody--
[[SFX: footsteps, door opening]]
Toby: [[calling, smarmy]] Well, hello there! Remember us?
[[SFX: fuse lights, lever activates, large gears lock into place]]
Stoddard: [[surprised]] What in the--?
[[SFX: harpoon fires, whoosh, distant wooden crack]]
Quent: [[impressed]] Huh. Nice shot. Right above the magazine.
Toby: And the fuse is still lit. You owe me a silver.
Stoddard: [[furious]] What in Hell are you all standing around for!? Get these chattel back in their bloody irons! [[whistle]] [[shouting]] Men! Topside! Now!
[[SFX: distant running, crew shouting]]
Gwen: [[calling/challenging]] Stoddard! Your pirating days are over!
Stoddard: [[pause]] [[chuckles]] [[laughs in realization, slow clapping]] Oh--but this is rich! A mutiny? Led by this simpering brat!? Really, Battoh? [[furious]] Have you lost your damned mind?
Battoh: [[stern]] She has been elected your successor… twice. Once by your former prisoners and once by your former crew. You cannot--
[[SFX: pistol cocks/shoots, Battoh grunts, body collapses]]
Gwen: [[alarmed]] Battoh! No!
Quent: [[angry]] You bastard!
Stoddard: [[laughs]] [[shouting]] Any fool who stands in defiance of their rightful Captain shall die this night! This is your only warning.
Battoh: [[through gritted teeth, in pain]] She… challenges you fairly.
Stoddard: [[under breath, furious]] Aye! And when I'm done hacking the limbs from her body, I'll do the same to you, you miserable, traitorous--
Toby: [[calling]] Excuse me! I hate to interrupt your ranting, but I don't suppose you noticed the flask on the end of that harpoon?
Stoddard: [[shouting]] Men! Pry that damned barb from my hull! Now!
Toby: [[calling]] I wouldn't do that if I were you! Refined propellant can be pretty sensitive. And that's a five-minute fuse sticking out of it, by the way. Battoh tells me that's right about where you store all the Woe's munitions, is that right?
Stoddard: [[seething]] Oh, what I'm going to do to you…
Quent: [[calling]] The Wheel's Woe is as good as sunk, Stoddard!
Gwen: [[calling]] If your people value their lives, they'll come aboard now!
Stoddard: [[furious growl]] [[shouting]] Get your asses over here, all of you! Pull anchor and abandon ship!
[[SFX: crew shouting, running, gears cranking]]
Stoddard: [[seething, furious]] Oh, Miss Karthis… I am going to ransom you back to your family one inch at a time until there is nothing left of you!
[[SFX: sword unsheathing]]
Gwen: [[calling, fearless]] Come then! Try and claim your first payment!
[[SFX: Stoddard snarls in rage, weapons clash, pirates cheer]]
Stoddard: [[strained]] An interesting choice of weapon, girl.
[[SFX: weapons clash, Gwen grunts]]
Stoddard: Bringing a mace to a swordfight? [[chuckles]]
[[SFX: weapons clash, Gwen grunts]]
Stoddard: [[strained]] Tires you out faster. Slows you down.
Gwen: [[winded, determined]] As does talking whilst fighting.
[[SFX: blunt impact, Stoddard gets wind knocked out of him]]
Stoddard: [[breathing hard]] Very well. [[growls in rage]]
[[SFX: sword slashes, Gwen cries out, pirates cheer]]
Stoddard: [[breathing hard]] You want to skip the foreplay, do you?
[[SFX: Stoddard grunts, sword slashes, Gwen cries out, pirates cheer]]
[[SFX: scraping metal, mace drops to floor, Gwen gasps]]
[[SFX: heavy kick, Gwen wheezes, body collapses, pirates cheer]]
Toby: [[fearful]] Gwen! No!
Quent: [[shouting]] What are you waiting for, Gwen! Blast him!
Stoddard: [[breathing hard]] Ah, yes--that's right! Noble brats like you all receive arcane tutelage, don't they? Learned a few parlor tricks back home, did we? [[chuckles, under breath]] Let's see how well you cast without a tongue!
[[SFX: knife unsheathes/stabs, Stoddard winces in pain, pirates cheer]]
Stoddard: [[wheezing]] You dirty little bitch! [[grunts]] Pull a knife on me?
[[SFX: knife pulled out, cast aside]]
[[SFX: mace picked up from floor]]
Gwen: [[breathing hard]] The first of two gifts from the late Barlow.
Stoddard: [[strained, grinning]] Aye, girl--and you'd be the second.
[[SFX: weapons clash]]
Stoddard: If Barlow weren't already dead, I'd give that worm a promotion!
[[SFX: weapons clash]]
Stoddard: [[smiling]] You're a gift that just keeps on giving!
[[SFX: weapons lock, scraping metal]]
Gwen: [[strained]] Not me. Barlow left you a bit of perfume.
Stoddard: [[confused]] What now?
[[SFX: spritzing sound]]
Stoddard: Augh! [[coughing]] What the-- [[coughing]] What is this!?
Gwen: [[breathing hard]] Just a tool of your trade. Azure lily pollen.
Stoddard: [[realization]] No! [[slurred]] You… cheating… little--
[[SFX: Stoddard grunts, sword swipe, blunt impact, body collapsing]]
Stoddard: [[blacking out]] Ugh…
Gwen: [[breathing hard]] Nothing personal--it's just business.
[[SFX: pirates murmuring]]
Pirate 1: [[awed]] Bloody Hell! She's knocked him out cold!
Pirate 2: [[confused]] W-what do we do? What happens now?
Battoh: [[pained, shouting]] Witness! All of you! With this killing blow, Lady Gwen makes rightful claim to Stoddard's station as Captain!
Gwen: [[shouting, defiant]] No! Stoddard is my prisoner!
[[SFX: pirates murmuring]]
Battoh: [[pained, under breath]] You must! It is the way of things!
Gwen: [[shouting]] I extend to each of you a choice! Those who wish to amend the suffering your profession has caused… you are welcome to join my crew!
[[SFX: pirates murmuring, scoffing]]
Gwen: [[shouting]] As payment, I offer you each a share of Stoddard's bounty! Those who want no part in this… you are free to return to the foul trade of piracy, which--I might add--is wrong!
[[SFX: pirates murmuring]]
Pirate 1: [[shouting]] And how in the Hell are we supposed to do that?
Pirate 2: [[shouting]] Yeah! Our ship's about to go up in flames!
Toby: [[calling]] The flask is empty, idiots! Look--the fuse has already gone out!
Gwen: [[calling]] You can start reeling the Woe back in, Quentin!
Quent: [[calling, cheerful]] Aye aye, Captain! [[grunts with exertion]]
[[SFX: lever activates, gears cranking]]
[[SFX: pirates murmuring]]
Pirate 1: [[angry]] She hoodwinked us, she did!
Pirate 2: [[angry]] Of all the dirty tricks!
Gwen: [[shouting]] To all who want a fresh start--you may join my crew aboard the Wheel's Woe. Otherwise… I leave this ship to you.
[[SFX: pirates murmuring, scoffing]]
Pirate 1: [[leering]] This bint really thinks she can tell us what to do?
Pirate 2: [[yelling]] I'll be damned if I serve under some bloody richling!
Gwen: [[shouting]] To those who remain, remember this--the Woe has the superior guns and will outman you three to one!
Toby: [[calling]] So you'd better not try anything cute!
Quent: [[winded, calling]] We're within boarding distance, Gwen!
Gwen: [[calling]] Lower the gangway!
[[SFX: footsteps, board clattering, pirates murmuring]]
Toby: [[cheerful]] Here Quent, help me carry Stoddard down to the brig!
Quent: [[smiling]] With pleasure!
[[SFX: fumbling with body, bump]]
Quent: [[mock worry]] Whoopsie! Watch his head now!
Toby: [[mocking]] Aw--did the big mean pirate bonk his widdle coconut?
[[SFX: Toby and Quent chuckle as they walk away]]
Gwen: [[shouting]] This is your last chance! Forsake your foul trade… or wallow in the disgrace of your wicked deeds!
[[SFX: pirates jeering]]
Pirate 1: [[shouting]] A pox on you bloody traitors!
Pirate 2: [[shouting]] You haven't heard the last of us, harlot!
Gwen: [[sigh]] Very well. [[calling]] Sever the rope!
[[SFX: rope snaps, pirates jeering fades away]]
Battoh: [[pained]] We should open fire on them, Lady Gwen.
Gwen: [[stoic]] But we will not. [[worried sigh]] You look about to keel over, Battoh. Here--Toby used the last of his reagents to make a poultice.
Battoh: [[pained]] This one has suffered through worse. Batab has all but staunched the bleeding. [[grunts]] Your need looks to be greater.
Gwen: [[stoic]] Thank you, but I insist. Take some, Battoh.
[[SFX: distant pirate jeering]]
Battoh: [[pained grunt]] Please, Lady Gwen. If we do not deal with them now, we shall pay dearly for your mercy later.
Gwen: [[sigh]] There's barely enough of them to pilot the Friend Ship as it is. If they're smart, they'll sell her in Absalom and go their separate ways.
Battoh: [[pained]] As long as Stoddard lives--even bound and chained in some cell--he shall always be a threat as long as there are men loyal to him.
[[SFX: Toby and Quent walk up]]
Quent: He's got a point, Gwen. You can bet Stoddard's crew will be back for him… and with bigger munitions than just grapeshot.
Gwen: [[determined]] Then we'll just have to be ready for them.
Toby: [[clears throat]] Or, alternatively…
[[pause]]
Quent: [[confused]] Uhh… yes, Toby?
Toby: [[smiling]] Wait for it…
Gwen: [[puzzled]] Wait for what?
[[SFX: distant explosion/flames, pirates screaming]]
Quent: [[startled]] Whoa!
Toby: [[satisfied]] For that!
Gwen: [[aghast]] Tobias! What have you done!?
Toby: Hmm… I could have sworn I set the real flask of blasting powder near enough to their stores of--
[[SFX: distant huge explosion, sailors cheer]]
Toby: [[pleased]] There we go!
Quent: [[awed, to self]] Sarenrae's tits!
Battoh: [[pained laughter]] You are certainly full of surprises, young Quartermaster!
Toby: [[smug]] Yeah, I'm not really a fan of loose ends.
Quent: [[laughs]] I'll say! You blasted them straight to the Astral Plane!
Toby: Just a small precaution to ensure our new vocation as independent privateers starts on the right foot.
Quent: [[chuckles]] Remind me to let you steal whatever you want from now on!
Toby: Damn right! So what do you think, Gwen? Not a bad ending to our first day as--
[[SFX: Gwen storms off, door slams]]
Toby: [[deflated]] Can't please everyone, I guess.
Battoh: [[pained]] Give her time. Lady Gwen will come to see the foresight with which you acted.
Quent: Yeah, it's probably best to give her some space too.
Toby: [[guilty]] Hmm… maybe I should have mentioned it to her. I mean, I figured she'd be too stubborn to use magic against Stoddard, so--
Quent: [[interrupting, aghast]] Hold on! What if she had cast a fireball?
Toby: Yeah, that could have been really bad. Hence, why I didn't tell you my plan either.
Quent: [[angry]] Wow! I swear, Toby--only you could single-handedly save the day and piss everyone off at the same time!
Toby: [[masking guilt]] What can I say? It's a gift.
Battoh: [[pained]] Do you also happen to be gifted in field surgery, young Quartermaster?
Toby: [[sigh]] Yeah, come on. Let's get that slug out of you. [[sheepish]] Hey, Quent… if you see Gwen--
Quent: [[interrupting, sardonic]] What? Tell her you're not sorry?
Toby: [[hesitating]] I just… never mind.
Battoh: [[pained, shouting]] Men! Set a watch! We make for Escadar come first light!
[[SFX: TRANSITION MUSIC]]
SCENE 4
[[SFX: waves on beach, creaking planks, footsteps in sand]]
Dockhand: [[calling]] Hello? Anybody in there? [[pause]] Hello?
Lola: [[stony]] Who are you?
Dockhand: [[startled]] Gods above! You scared the life outta me, miss! [[catching breath]] What in the Hell do you think you're doing out here? You can't just run aground any old place, y'know.
Lola: [[wary]] Are you… a guard?
Dockhand: [[confused]] What? No, I'm a dockhand down at the pier. Y'know--that thing about a mile thataway you gotta pay to harbor at? [[stern]] You best make your way there now, else I'll have to report you--
Lola: Do you have any food or water?
Dockhand: [[suspicious]] What is this? I warn you, miss--Escadar don't abide pirates or their ilk. So if that skiff of yours is stolen property, you best just turn around and--
Lola: [[interrupting, stony]] My sister is below deck. She's injured. I must get her to the Wet-House immediately. Do you know this place?
Dockhand: What, you mean the House of the Cresting Wave? That ain't a hospital, y'know. More of an embassy, really--
Lola: [[interrupting, stony]] I must get my sister there. But I am too weak to carry her alone. Will you help me… please?
Dockhand: [[cautious]] Listen, miss. I'm just out for a stroll. If you need help, I'll be glad to fetch the night watch for you. They can get your sis a proper doctor--
Lola: [[interrupting, stony]] There isn't time. Please help me carry her. I promise to return and pay the docking fee.
Dockhand: If this is such an emergency, why didn't you just go straight to the docks?
Lola: [[stony]] I can pay you as well… in more ways than one.
Dockhand: [[uncomfortable]] N-now, now--there's… no need for that.
[[SFX: walking in sand, climbing aboard]]
Dockhand: I'll help you get her to town, alright? But we're going straight to the constabulary, understand? I don't want to get mixed up in any fishy business.
Lola: [[stony]] This Wet-House embassy. Where is it?
Dockhand: Much too far to carry your sister, I can tell you that. See that big domed temple up on the hill there? Must be a good five miles uphill from here. Naw, your best bet's to wake a healer and-- [[gurgling gasp]]
[[SFX: knife stabs]]
Lola: [[stony]] You have been useful. My lady thanks you.
[[SFX: dramatic stinger, OUTRO MUSIC]]
CREDITS
Narrator: Omen, episode 108: "Finders Keepers" was written and directed by Tim Krause. Featuring Mamito Kukwikila as Gwen, A.J. Beckles as Tobias, Charlie Wes as Quentin, Gary Scales as Battoh, Anthony Morales as Stoddard, Chris Einspahr as Lewin, and Méabh de Brún as Lola. Thank you to special guest Kyle Brown from King Falls AM as Brackett. Additional voices provided by Sarah Golding, Graham Rowat, Phill Usher, Tom Laflin, and Brandon Jenkins. Original music composed by Matt Lee.
If you would like to support these independent creators as well as unlock exclusive Omen content, please consider becoming a patron at patreon dot com slash omenpodast. You can also show love for Omen by leaving a rating and review wherever you listen. Your encouragement is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
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